tonto

the man i know who loves me second most is teaching me that i am the kindest woman around town until i know you know it and then i become as hard and callous as a callous on that romanian woman's feet, the one who lives up a few feet in the upstairs apartment and has trouble walking a few feet because the skin on her feet is so tough and rough. hi yes my brutishness is just disgusting and i have about as much wherewithal as she does to hide it- the kind of wherewithal that diminishes with time. i care care so much about the way beings care but that being said its only the care thats being brought into being by how much their care can please me. which, admittedly, knowing my appetite, is pretty damn limited.
simply enough though despite this tough im simple as they come, i would say. see foods i find delicious must be high in fat, see, peanut butter, see, avocadoes. i order the same thing at restaurants and i go to the same restaurants and it never feels the same and i revel in that same. erica jong is my lady and we have afternoon tea at three quite frequently by my window on that dark red sofa. i like watching pretty boys undress and sometimes when they undress their thoughts like so many of their shirts and trousers i will listen sometimes. it's like winning a battle and losing a war.